FAQ's with Mike | GEM Club Dinner February 5, 2021

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FAQ’s with Mike:

Q: WHAT ARE YOU BRINGING?

A: I AM CONSIDERING A FRED SANFORD RECIPE OF BEEF TONGUE AND BANANAS.  IT’S CALLED LICKETY SPLIT.

Q: MY HUSBAND IS EMBARRASSED TO COME, BECAUSE HE IS VEGAN.  WHAT SHOULD HE DO?

A: WELL, AS LONG AS HE QUARANTINES 14 DAYS BEFORE THE EVENT AND WEARS A MASK, WE SHOULDN’T HAVE ANY PROBLEMS.

Q: IS IT OK TO BRING TURKEY?

A: I SAY AS LONG AS IT’S WILD, IT’S NOT A PROBLEM, BECAUSE THE DOMESTIC ONES AIN’T NOTHING BUT A BIG, DUMB, UGLY CHICKEN.

Q: HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT ME BRINGING A DUCK?

A: I’D RATHER YOU BRING A FRIEND OR FAMILY MEMBER, BUT IF YOU CAN FIND ENOUGH FOR HIM TO EAT IT’S OK BY ME.

Q: WHAT ARE THE FOOD LIMITATIONS?  FROM WHAT I UNDERSTAND, YOU WILL EAT ANYTHING.

A: THIS IS TRUE, BUT IT MUST CLASSIFY AS VITTLES IN ORDER FOR ME TO CONSUME IT.  YOU DON’T GET TO BE A MENTAL GIANT LIKE ME BY EATING STUPID FOOD.  IF IT AIN’T GROCERIES, I DON’T EAT IT.  IF IT RECENTLY WALKED, RAN, SWAM, CRAWLED, OR FLEW, IT MAY BE ELIGIBLE.

Q: I AM LOOKING FOR A MEAT SUBSTITUTE – WHAT SHOULD I USE?

A: I RECOMMEND MY FAVORITE VEGETABLE – SAUSAGE.

HELPFUL INSTRUCTIONS

  • FOR HYGIENE PURPOSES WE ASK THAT YOU KEEP YOUR CABBAGE COLLECTORS OUT OF THE FOOD AND USE THE APPROPRIATE SERVING PIECE.

  • WE ENCOURAGE YOU TO LAY DOWN A LAYER OF HAND GEL BEFORE YOU GRAB THOSE UTENSILS SO THAT WE ARE NOT EXCHANGING ANY MICRO CRITTERS BETWEEN FAMILY GROUPS.

  • IF YOU WANNA WEAR A MASK – WEAR A MASK. WE DON’T CARE IF YOU WEAR A FRANKENSTEIN MASK – JUST DON’T GET OFFENDED IF WE CAN’T TELL THE DIFFERENCE.

Christmas at Harvest Baptist Church 2020

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Young at Heart: Cards, Cookies, Cocoa

The Young at Heart group will gather to enjoy a time of fellowship and sign Christmas cards for our military and law enforcement families.

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Youth Christmas Party

Youth, grades 7th through 12th, are invited to our Youth Christmas Party on December 11th beginning at 6:00 PM.

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Canvassing for Christmas Caroling

We will canvas for Christmas Caroling in Miller Pond on December 12th. Please plan to meet at the church at 9:00 AM.

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Christmas Caroling

On December 13th, groups will meet at 6:00PM at the church on before leaving to carol in nearby neighborhoods.

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Christmas Cantata: Lessons & Carols

Please join us for our annual Christmas Cantata, Lessons & Carols, on Sunday, December 20th beginning at 6:00 PM. A Cookie Fellowship will follow the service.

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Christmas Eve Candlelight Service

Join us on December 24th at 5:00 PM for our annual Christmas Eve Candlelight Service.

New Sermon Series: Joshua: Victory is from the Lord

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New Sermon Series Beginning 9/20/20

This week we will begin a new study through the book of Joshua on Sunday mornings entitled “Joshua: Victory is from the Lord.” As we observe the successes and failures of the Children of Israel in their quest to claim the land God had given to them, God’s Word teaches us how we too can achieve Victory in the Lord. Join us!

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9, NKJV

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